But as I got into my late 30s, my husband started reminding me that, if we ever wanted to have kids, we would need to get going—and indicated that he was feeling ready for that next step.
At this point, I wasn’t against having kids, but I was against the idea of taking on the traditional, inequitable gender roles and expectations of parenting. My husband is an entrepreneur as well, but he earns more than I do. The typical narrative would be that I step back from my work to raise the baby while he continues to be the breadwinner. But I love my work and couldn’t see myself being happy as a stay-at-home mom. More than that, I had a new idea for a startup that I really wanted to pursue.
I knew trying to start a company while going through pregnancy and having a newborn wasn’t the best timing, but I also knew that it never feels like the “right time” to make big steps in your career. I didn’t want to fall behind in making my dreams a reality. And I was right to worry: In one recent survey, 33% of women feel that having kids has negatively impacted their careers. But I also love my husband and wanted to create the family he saw for us.